Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Blogged Down

To blog or not to blog…

If a blog falls in the blogosphere and no one reads it, does it make an impact? 

I blog therefore I am… what?  A blogger? 

The blog, the administration of a blogspot, carries with it a great burden.  I have a URL therefore I am responsible for the care and upkeep of said URL.  But really, why does it matter?  Only a handful of people are even aware of my blog.  And in that handful only one or two actually read it.  So in fact, all I’m keeping is an online journal, which I’ve somehow deemed appropriate for public consumption (albeit a small public).  Its silly really, isn’t it?  I mean, who cares about how I felt at dinner last night, or what I think about the state of global politics, how I feel about raising children, what its like to be a stepmother, or what I found at the farmer’s market that seems worthy of cooking. 

And yet I blog on.  There was an article in the New York Times last week about bloggers and the rate of attrition in the blogosphere – that is, how many of us start a blog and fail to keep it up?  Some blogs are, by definition, limited endeavors (say a blog about a particular journey or experience).  And some are defined by specific topic (organic food, movie gossip, literary criticism).  But the majority of the blogiverse is made up of blogs like mine – bloggers spewing forth on various topics with the assumption that others give a shit. 

Is this an exercise in self-exploration?   Maybe.  Is it a search for kindred spirits in the universe?  Maybe that too.   Sometimes the notion that I’ve not blogged in a few days can really blog me down.  I start to question why I started the blog in the first place and if I really need yet another responsibility – another opportunity for failure or disappointment.  What I do know is this.  When I finally blog, when I’ve finished enough work that I am unburdened by guilt, when my family of two and four-legged creatures have been fed and watered and tucked in for the night and I finally get down to the task of blogging, it makes me feel good.  The joy of writing again, of having something outside of my work life that makes me feel like I’m stretching a dormant brain muscle is gratifying.  And that feeling of good far outweighs the burden of responsibility that is blogging me down.  


Miss Whistle said...

Trust me, people are reading.
We love you, Mrs L xxx

Anonymous said...

you know how sometimes your best friend tells you a secret about her husband and then you get together with them and the husband knows that you probably know the secret but you never talk about it together directly?

your blog is like the best friend in this scenario. and you are her husband. and i'm you.

this is the experience i have as a faithful reader of 43rd year. and, i believe, why people do not comment. we still want access to the husband's secrets and we are afraid that if we explicitly acknowledge that we know them they might stop being shared.